Dating Successfully On (and Off) the Web

Rule #1 for Dating: Lower Those Expectations!

Let’s face it. The huge majority of women in the world go to their graves never having met their Knight in Shining Armor. Most of us make do with what’s available and call it “good enough”. But does this need to be a depressing fact? Heck no! Once we accept it, dating actually becomes more fun. After all, a Knight can be very time consuming. But spot-dating an Entertainment UM (Useful Male), a Technical UM or a Lawn Boy UM may only require a few hours a week! With the right UMs, you can enjoy yourself at the same time you’re knocking things off your to-do list. All you have to do is let go of the idea that everything you ever wanted will ever show up in one Perfect Man.

Instead, enjoy geek-talk with your Technical UM. Expect chivalry from your Entertainment UM. Go to silly movies with Lawn Boy UM. You’ll still get everything your heart desires. The key is simply to spread those expectations around amongst your UMs.

If you’re not convinced yet, ask yourself: how many wonderful single men are there in the world? A quick look at the state of the planet makes it clear: not many. Why else would we be in the mess we’re in? A few thousand years of patriarchy and the Earth is practically destroyed. And we’re not just talking a few guys either; there are whole countries full of chauvinist dorks.

Unfortunately, some of them are reaching out of their countries to the US too, just like our own pathetic American dweebs who buy brides from poverty-stricken countries. When it comes to the web, what better place to shop for a woman, especially when you’re an immoral (tons of them are married), Barely Useful Male (BUM) who’s estranged everyone else in your life? That’s right: go somewhere no one knows your name: the lovely anonymity of the Internet. So whatever you do, shop carefully when you’re picking UMs online.

Beware the Male Ego
There’s one other element at play here: the notorious male ego. Because even if you look like a super model, there is some truth to the following:

Yes, at first glance it is amazing that our buddy on the right is contemplating asking Christie Brinkley out, but that’s our point. Stow your disbelief and don’t get all upset because he wants to date you. Take it as a compliment. Because when he looks in the mirror he sees the guy on the left.

And whatever you do, don’t let these harsh realities spoil your fun. Just temper your expectations. There are also lots of great, Highly Useful Males (HUMrs) who are literate enough to put up ads and know how to use computers too. But it helps to realize right up front that it may take us a while to meet any, and they ALL think they’re handsome studs.

Success Criteria
If you really want to succeed, the first rule is: don’t set “Meet and Marry Soul Mate” as a goal. At least not on your first week. Pick a goal that’s imminently doable and work your way up. Get some experience with posting or responding and have a little fun. How about simply snagging a venti mocha and some decent conversation? A dinner date? Some cocktails? Dancing or a movie? Or have him double up and you can bring your girlfriend. Short entertainment scenarios like these are very easy to come by from a variety of men. Lots of men post ads saying they’re looking for companionship, often even at the last minute (www.craigslist.com) So be flexible. Decide what you’re most interested in doing next week and make that one event your goal.

Next we’ll discuss: a.) multi-tasking; b.) posting your own ad, c.) evaluating his, and d.) writing a great reply.
Good luck,
cj