Topic: Managing Multiple UMs (Useful Males)

Question:
“I met ‘Tom’ at a company meeting and we started spending time together. It’s not romantic. We go to films together once or twice a month when he’s in town. I don’t even know if he’s married but I’d call him my Entertainment UM. Should I be feeling guilty (more…)

Topic: Exchanging Usefulness in Long Term Relationships

Question:
“We filled out the Usefulness Spreadsheets* for each other. It was very interesting. I learned that he doesn’t really appreciate the work I do on the house alone because it makes him feel left out. He’s rather us do it together. Also, I handle a lot more of our cat-care. But anyway, now we’re in a bit of a standoff. He’s says he’ll supply my top three items if I’ll supply his top one. But he’s the one who’s been traveling so much lately. I feel like he should supply me first. Any thoughts on that?” (more…)

Go ahead and send in questions, even you guys (we have lots of advice for you ). Here are some questions I received from women:

July 26, 2008
Managing a Barely Useful Male – in Marriage

Question:
“What would you say about a husband who has an extremely low Usefulness Quotient overall? There’s not even one area I’d say he exceptional in! We both have full time jobs and I want to stay with him but I feel constantly frustrated because he doesn’t do anything. He’s employed and he loves his kids but when he’s not at work he’s just unbelievably lazy.” (more…)