Tiger Wood’s mom sat in the front row when he made his apology. The “experts” said she was clearly angry, and I agree that her body language makes it look that way. However, it makes no sense that at this late date she would still be upset by the facts at hand. If we factor in her culture, here are some more likely reasons for her to be angry:

a.) Mom is pissed that Tiger hasn’t earned the prerogative to behave anyway he wants. After all, Tiger’s a star, he’s her star, and he shouldn’t have to apologize for anything. Ever.

b.) Mom also doesn’t want to acknowledge that she might be to blame in any way. Did she raise him wrong? (If she had left his father when his father was unfaithful, would that have sent Tiger a different message?)

c.) She’s angry about being included in what she considers a silly charade (the apology).

d.) She’s furious at Elin for not “standing by her man” and showing up at Tiger’s conference (a decision apparently made only the evening before).

I’m not one to blame a mother for what her kids do once they’ve grown up. But that doesn’t change the fact that we moms still often feel responsible. The conflict for a Thai mom is that so many Thai women are forced to endure infidelity from men. They have no acceptable (social or economic) alternative. Which probably means that his mother can’t understand why Tiger is in trouble in the first place.

And, if we’re to believe that Tiger’s father cheated on her (Tiger’s apparent words, not mine) his mother won’t understand why Elin is making such a fuss. The answer of course is: because she can. In every country where women have enough power, money and social status to leave philandering husbands they do. Sometimes they stay legally married while conducting their own affairs (as Jackie Kennedy did), but they do assert their right to freedom. What’s nice is to see that society is finally catching on to the fact that this is an issue of empowerment and values – not gender. Where and when women have the ability to also philander without serious consequence, and their value system doesn’t prohibit it (or he broke the vows first, so the fidelity pact is broken) they are just as likely as men are to do it.

Every business person and parent knows that it’s impossible to negotiate from a position of perceived powerlessness. So it’s not that I applaud female infidelity, but in order to be fair (and healthy), the power should be at least as balanced in a relationship as it is in nature. We all know that “absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The way I read it, Tiger’s mom is angry that with all his talent, hard work and success he doesn’t have that absolute power. Because after all, that’s what society teaches us that boys are entitled to. And as the mother tigress, who can blame her?

cj

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